What Women Need to Know (guest post)

What Women need to know about finding and keeping a man’s attention:  
by Rick P.


The problem with *striving* to keep a guy’s attention is that it’s completely wasted time and energy.  Think of relationships as being like two people in a canoe together; if one is just splashing a stick around while the other intently paddles on their side of the boat, the canoe goes in circles and you’ll just spend your time baling out water before sinking.  But if you wait for someone who’s eager to paddle along with you, you’ll actually get somewhere.  Together.  It takes two for it to be worthwhile.

0706_guy-checking-out-girlI’ve heard more than one woman exclaim that as soon as she’s in a relationship, she takes note that more guys are displaying interest in her, even if just in passing.  There’s a reason for this, and it’s because she’s carrying herself with a confidence and collectedness that wasn’t previously there.  If women really want to know what makes them attractive to men (at least some of us), it’s a relentless passion for what they love in life, a servant’s heart, and a confidence in who they are.  No makeup, no pretty dress, no magic target weight, and no mind games can take the place of what’s visible in a woman who carries herself with the peace and strength that only comes from an assurance in Christ’s love, along with a passionate drive to serve Him and others with her talents.

It’s no secret that some women will find it easier than others to attract the opposite sex – there’s no getting around the fact that young guys (and most women) need to be physically attracted to someone they’re dating.  The most difficult part of this reality to grasp is internalizing that it doesn’t matter HOW MUCH attention you get (sure, patience isn’t easy and it feels really good to be noticed all the time) but getting the RIGHT attention is worth infinitely more.  If you really think about the attention some celebrities get, it’s a nightmare for many of them seeking something real.  You may doubt your worth, you may blame yourself for past failures, we all have… but I haven’t met a woman who isn’t worth infinitely more than she gives herself credit for.  Part of faith is having an assurance that God will fulfill what’s on your heart, if you’re truly seeking Him above all else.   Sometimes that’s the most difficult part of the equation – realizing that it takes us seeking Him first before we can be assured that healthy relationships will come, in God’s perfect time.  We’re tested through fire, and it’s the only way we’re made ready for more.

There’s a big difference between a woman who takes care of her body and a woman who abuses it.  One knows she’s a steward of what God’s given her; eating/living healthily as well as celebrating her feminine beauty with the way she dresses/conducts herself. (Men have equal responsibility in taking care of themselves, of course- we just dodged pregnancy and heels… whew.) The other is negligent of her habits, and makes choices that are temporary fixes, extreme measures, or cover-ups which only hurt her in the end.  Like with many things, seeking God will bring about a divine perspective that settles this struggle in time, as the twisted expectations and misleading solutions of the world that got her to this broken state are weeded out.

It’s become the cliché expectation that a guy should still be attracted to you without your makeup on… true, but it goes far deeper than your pores.  A Godly man who values who you are won’t judge you for your past decisions, won’t set superficial expectations, and won’t intentionally cause you harm.  He’ll care about where you’re headed, bring out the good in you and challenge you to reach higher, as well as encourage and protect you.  Striving to win a worthy man’s attention is futile.  Be yourself, seek God, and chances are you’ll have it.

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